brainiac conspiracy

Sunday Night Devotional

Because spring is just around the corner, isn't it?

---Vitelius

Nobody Could Have Predicted, v2.0

Who would've guessed that bad teeth and bad food would be the ultimate aphrodisiac?

---Vitelius

Random Thought of the Day

Don't like where you live? Wherever it is, things probably could be worse.

---Vitelius

Gotta-Read of the Day

I'm not sure I agree with every premise put forward here, but the conclusion is sound, and it's telling (isn't it?) that we have to rely on a freaking film critic for insightful political analysis rather than on, say, the usual Wise Men of Washington?

Republicans continue to push the idea that this is a center-right country and that Americans have swooned for GOP anti-government posturing all these years, but the real electoral bait has been anger, recrimination and scapegoating. That's why John McCain kept describing Barack Obama as some sort of alien and why Palin, taking a page right out of the McCarthy playbook, kept pushing Obama's relationship with onetime radical William Ayers.

And that is also why the Republican Party, despite the recent failure of McCarthyism, is likely to keep moving rightward, appeasing its more extreme elements and stoking their grievances for some time to come. There may be assorted intellectuals and ideologues in the party, maybe even a few centrists, but there is no longer an intellectual or even ideological wing. The party belongs to McCarthy and his heirs---Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly and Palin. It's in the genes.

Pace DeLong, why oh why can't we have a better Washington press corps?

---Vitelius

The Politics of Personal Accountability

Outsourced (gasp!) to India:

India's highest-ranking security official resigned on Sunday, as the government began to reckon with the fallout from a three-day standoff with militants that raised troubling questions about India's vulnerability to terrorism . . .

As an investigation moved forward, there were questions about whether Indian authorities could have anticipated the attack and had better security in place, especially after a 2007 report to Parliament that the country's shores were inadequately protected from infiltration by sea---which is how the attackers sneaked into Mumbai.

Home Minister Shivraj Patil, responsible for public safety and internal security as one of the most senior members of the government, resigned on Sunday to take responsibility for the failure of the country's intelligence services and military to prevent the attacks in Mumbai.

Compare and contrast to another high-ranking intelligence official.

Steve, I don't think anybody could have predicted that these people would take an airplane and slam it into the World Trade Center, take another one and slam it into the Pentagon; that they would try to use an airplane as a missile, a hijacked airplane as missile. All of this reporting about hijacking was about traditional hijacking.

---Vitelius

Other Random Thought of the Day

Friends don't let friends go Christmas shopping at midnight.

---Vitelius

Random Turkey Thought of the Day

Y'know, if the Ford family wanted to rustle up some extra scratch to tide them over through the holidays, maybe they'd consider selling off some of their side investments?

Hoping everyone had a blessed and blissful holiday . . .

---Vitelius

Friday Night Archetypes

I must scare easy . . . I get goosebumps from this shit.

---Vitelius

Rush to Judgment, and Other Idiot Winds

According to the usual gasbags, we officially entered the Obama Recession™ the day after the election. Does that mean we can start calling it the Obama Recovery now?

---Vitelius

How Not to Coach a Basketball Team

Once upon a time, there was a basketball team called the Chicago Bulls that was one of the crappiest teams in the NBA. One day they had the good fortune to acquire a player named Michael Jordan, who quickly established himself as the game's best player. This caused some consternation among opposing teams, until they realized that the Bulls were still the same bunch of guys who couldn't shoot, rebound, or do anything terribly well: A crappy team with Michael Jordan, in other words. So the Bulls' opponents came up with a winning strategy: Leave Michael Jordan alone---since nobody in the league could guard him anyway---and simply shut down his teammates. Michael might score 50 or 60 points a game, but if nobody else could score any points, your team would win easily.

And this is what happened for the next three seasons. Michael Jordan had a lot of big 50-point games, but the rest of his team sucked, and the Bulls invariably lost.

Then one day the Bulls' management got a keen idea, and acquired another player named Scotty Pippen, who could also score and rebound and play pretty well. And they went out and acquired a few more talented role players who could either shoot, or rebound, or pass the ball or play defense. Now, the Bulls' opponents were in a quandary. They couldn't simply count on shutting down Michael's teammates since they were too talented now. They'd have to actually guard Michael Jordan since his teammates could also score, and so they tried to defend him. This created all kinds of opportunities for Michael's teammates, and Michael soon became as comfortable passing the ball as he was to shoot it. Michael didn't have many 50-point games anymore, but the Bulls went on to win six NBA championships.

Moral of the story: Basketball's a team game, not a game of individuals, and one gifted player can't beat you by himself. Lesson to be learned by a coach in Maryland who should really be looking for another job today.

---Vitelius

Scrooges: They Aren't Only for Christmas Anymore

Much as I am indebted to dudes like Markos and Matt, I think they are both off the reservation turkey farm today.

To be fair, Matt's point, linking industrial farming to unappetizing food is a perfectly sound one as far as it goes, but the Baron speaks from years of experience here: There's only one real reason behind a bland-tasting bird---a poor-tasting turkey is a poorly cooked turkey.

So in the interest of promoting harmony in the blogosphere today, a twist on the conventional main course thai is as tasty to eat as it is easy to make:

Apple-Smoked
Chipotle Turkey Breast

Ingredients:
1 boneless turkey breast, skin removed, cut in half lengthwise, approximately 4 lb. total
2 tbsp or more chipotle chile power (available at specialty food shops or via mail order)
Apple-wood chips for smoking (available at specialty shops)

Generously coat the turkey breasts in the chipotle chile powder. Put aside.

Sprinkle the apple-wood chips inside a stovetop smoker. Place the drip pan and rack on top. Place the turkey half-breasts on the rack, place the smoker directly over two burners, and turn the heat on both burners to high, approximately 1 minute. When wisps of smoke waft up from beneath the drip pan, cover the pan tightly with a lid and turn the heat on both burners down to a medium-low simmer, so the tips of the flames are barely touching the bottom of the smoker. Cook approximately 45 minutes or until the turkey breast halves reach an internal temperature of 165 degrees. Remove the half-breasts from the smoker, cover loosely with foil, and allow to rest 10 minutes before serving. Cut the half-breasts diagonally on the bias into inch-thick serving pieces. Serve with whatever Thanksgiving goodies you like. Serves six as a main course. Just so you know.

---Vitelius

Proof of God's Existence Confirmed

Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy gal. Anybody wanna guess how?

---Vitelius

In Case That Job in the Obama Administration Doesn't Work Out

Career opportunities galore in the new global economy.

---Vitelius

Looks Like I'd Better Send in My Résumé . . . Again

Thomas Keller for White House chef? C'mon, this is crack-pipe stuff. Whoever gets picked, they have to be able to cook for kids too, not just middle-aged foodies who get their kicks nibbling three-day sous vide duck breasts with asparagus confit.

The Baron, however, makes a pretty mean grilled ham 'n' cheese. Do you suppose Sasha and Malia would be alright with prosciutto and chevrè on fougasse toast points?

---Vitelius  

Buddy Can You Spare $600 Billion?

Somebody remind me to purchase a house I can't afford next time.

---Vitelius

Tuesday Night Thanksgiving Prep

Because everybody needs a quick 'n' easy recipe.

---Vitelius

What, Tim Allen Wasn't Available?

Things really are tough all over.

---Vitelius

Sunday Night Rottenball

Because sometimes you just gotta be a man and kill yourself.

---Vitelius

Summing Up the Last Eight Years

In one easy paragraph, courtesy of Juan Cole:

Bush was like some yahoo on Dukes of Hazzard---he was always up for a hotrod street race, but he did not care anything about actually supplying security to anyone. His posturing, threats, and actual invasions have just left the legacy of a lawless world, and Red Sea piracy is only one manifestation of it.

---Vitelius

Educational Experience of The Year

Yes, yes, I know Obama lectured us many times over the year about the need for parents to turn off the TV and put away the video games for the sake of the children, but to every rule, there is a noble and uplifting exception.

---Vitelius