Wishful Thinking

There's certainly been a lot of chatter on the Interwebs the last few days about this guy's Presidential prospects, though I cannot for the life of me figure out why. Using the bullet points in this post as a template, here's why Jon Huntsman will not be elected President any time in the foreseeable future:

1. A fresh face doesn't mean anything to GOP primary voters*. The only thing they care about is fealty to Glenn Beck's daily talking points. If Huntsman shows any signs that he's capable of thinking independently going into the presidential primary season, he's done.

2. Republican voters don't give a shit about foreign policy unless it relates to illegal aliens attempting to impose sharia law. The fact that Huntsman is the kind of sober-minded guy who can attempt to negotiate trade and monetary agreements with the Communist Chinese actually works against him. There is simply no reward to be gained from the GOP base for being knowledgeable in policy matters, or in caring about actually governing. The fact that he also speaks fluent Mandarin will not only bring him no credit, but may actually make him an easier target of ridicule for the Dittohead Militia.

3. Huntsman may indeed by electable in the general, but that presupposes he survives the GOP primary season. If someone can tell me how he manages to pull that off after having spent two years as Hitler's Obama's Willing Executioner in the Global Marxist-Maoist-Piven & Cloward Conspiracy to bring America's economy to its knees, I'd like to hear it. Then you can convince me how Ray LaHood has a legitimate shot at the White House, too.

4. So Huntsman's got money. So what? So does Romney, and Palin is nothing if not an accomplished wingnut-welfare sponge. Haley Barbour and Mitch Daniels will have shitloads of old-boy cash, too, if they choose to jump into the race.

5. Some of Huntsman's government "reforms"---like getting more, not fewer, people covered by state-run healthcare---are utterly anathema to the GOP base. Like I said before, this guy cares about making government actually work. That alone makes him persona non grata for at least half of all GOP primary voters.

And to top it all off, let's not forget that Huntsman is a Mormon with two adopted kids from overseas alien anchor babies in his household. Don't get me wrong---in a nation where both political parties were controlled by sane and rational people, Jon Huntsman would be a helluva strong candidate. But we don't live in that kind of nation anymore, and unfortunately for Huntsman, his party is in the hands of a bunch of paranoid-conspiracist crazy people. He can either do what Mitt Romney did four years ago---run away from his record of centrist governance and convince no one that he's sincere---or run as a voice of of sober moderation. Which doesn't win you primaries, it gets you primaried in today's GOP.

* Unless you're female, pretty, and insane.

---Vitelius