brainiac conspiracy

Nothing to be Done

Tough talk and sternly worded warnings aside, we will do absolutely nothing of substance after Crimea votes for reunification with Mother Russia over the weekend. That is, if we are smart, that's what we'll do because at the end of the day, it's in Russia's sphere of influence. Besides, who are we to criticize? We've intervened militarily in the internal affairs of nations in our own sphere of influence---we've done it repeatedly for decades. I realize, of course, that the principle of leadership-by-example has never been a strong component of American foreign policy, but sooner or later we'll need to cease with the bluster and admit that there are some things in life that we simply cannot control. We're really not exceptional.

---Baron V

Today's Worst Person

Hillary Clinton.

Yeah, I know it wouldn't be America if the people who govern us didn't regularly Talk Tough® whenever some foreign nation defies our stated wishes, but considering how many real Russians the real-life Hitler had killed, it's a step over the line of decency. Also too, most of the Nazis today are some of the people we're claiming to defend from aggression. Either way, however, bad analogy and poor judgment.

---Baron V

Didn't Happen on a Whim

I mentioned this yesterday in brief, but this "Putin as madman" meme that's being floated today defies all credibility. These Russian/Soviet bosses have generally been a calculating and deliberative bunch, and it's highly doubtful they'd have wanted to run the risk of triggering an international incident with potentially global consequences unless they were strongly convinced that the odds were in their favor---and as it turns out, that's basically what has happened, and they've been patiently biding their time until conditions were right for them to spring the gambit. There's a reason why so many chess champions hail from Russia, y'know.

---Baron V

Don't Just Do Something, Stand There

I've never understood the knee-jerk, "We Must Act!" reaction that so many people in Washington evince whenever there's a dust-up between some former Soviet states. It can't be about the human rights because we really don't care about human rights; some of the worst abusers on the planet are among our staunchest friends in freedom! It can't be about national sovereignty, either, since we really don't care about that. We sure didn't care about Iraq's or Afghanistan's sovereignty, now, did we? Then again, the "We Must Act!" crowd is composed, by and large, of the same exact people who were responsible for those other wars---which, come to think of it, is (a) a good reason for us to do nothing now, and (b) another reason to convene a Truth & Reconciliation Commission, because the people who gave us these other wars have obviously not been sufficiently chastened. If they were, they wouldn't be braying for more war but begging for our forgiveness.

---Baron V

Random Thought

Barack Obama comes in for his share of abuse on this blog---and as a rule, it's richly deserved!---but this Ukraine crisis reminds us that we should be thankful that he inhabits the White House instead of President McCain or President Romney or President Palin. That doesn't necessarily mean he'll act wisely in regards to Ukraine, but his odds are a helluva lot better than the competition's.

---Baron V

Nothing to Be Done

The proof is in the pudding, so to speak. Or, put another way, look at the people who are yelling ZOMG SOVIET MENACE OBAMA MUST PUNISH THEM and you realize there is nothing sane and rational that we can do besides standing on the sidelines and watching for now. The Russians didn't punish us for invading Iraq, which was done under much flimsier pretenses, so we're not going to punish them now for invading Ukraine beyond the usual sternly worded warnings. That is, if we have any common sense.

---Baron V

Careful What You Ask For

One more point about our latest row with the Evil Empire: When our leaders boldly proclaim that "we're all Ukranians now", "we stand with the Ukrainian people", etc., we need to bear in mind that there all sorts of Ukranian people, and there are some Ukranian people who you want to keep as far away from the halls of political power as you possibly can. Our track record on this score in past foreign disputes has often been dismal, and the current crisis appears to be shaping up similarly.

---Baron V

Watch What We Say, Not What We Do

We've reserved the right to meddle in the affairs of every nation in our own hemisphere for 200 years now (just in case anyone's forgotten a guy named Monroe), but the minute some other country on the other side of the globe decides it wants to exert the same authority over a next-door neighbor, our reaction, generally, is OMG SOVIET AGGRESSION THEY MUST BE STOPPED OBAMA MUST LEAD, etc. Seriously, though, Ukraine is way outside our sphere of influence, and there is precious little we can---or should---do besides issuing sternly worded warnings and filing grievances with the UN. I know we've grown accustomed to bossing other nations around at will, a.k.a., American Exceptionalism, but the sooner we learn to moderate this behavior, the better off, and safer, we will be as a commonweal.

---Baron V

Friday Night Music Blogging

Because we're all Ukranians now. Or something.

---Baron V

Not Sure How We Handle The Russians

But I am guessing that threatening war isn't the smartest approach.

Sure, there's a certain amount of feint-and-dodge in these foreign-policy statements---a studied display of indignation is how you play the game, sometimes---but honestly, what the hell can we really do if Putin decides he wants to quash the unruly miscreants in his backyard? We've got as much power over him as the Russians would have over us if we decided to, say, invade the state of Sinaloa to stomp out a drug cartel. Okay, I suppose we could vote some trade sanctions on them, but even then our options are extremely limited because if we overplay our hand, Putin can always retaliate by shutting off the natural-gas spigot, and half of Europe will freeze to death. Maybe some backchannel discussions would be wiser than threats of confrontation.

---Baron V

Today's Worst Persons

Cossacks? Really? In 2014 what the hell?!?

On Wednesday, the group of five women and one man gathered about 20 miles from where the Winter Olympics are being held. The Cossacks and other security officials moved in. One Cossack appeared to use pepper spray. Another whipped several group members while other Cossacks ripped off their masks and threw the group's guitar away.

"Cossacks attacked Pussy Riot by a Sochi 2014 banner, hitting us with whips and spraying us with teargas, as we were singing the song 'Putin Will Teach You to Love the Motherland'," wrote Tolokonnikova on Twitter.

Awarding the winter Olympics to Russia was the biggest mistake the IOC has made in many decades. I've soured so much on these stupid Games, I may never watch the Olympics again, and I am guessing that I'm not the only person who feels that way.

This also reminds us why it's so patently offensive to hear the crazy-train lament about Kristallnacht and slavery, and suffering under Obama's despotic tyranny---because it trivializes, and even belittles, the courage of people who suffer under real despotic tyrannies and who refuse to be cowed by them.

---Baron V

Sochi, Super Bowls, World Cups, Etc.

Generally speaking, I'm of the mind that spending huge amounts of government money for what amounts to be a one-shot deal for the benefit of tourists is not a smart allocation of resources, even if needed infrastructure (roads, sewers, electricity) comes as part of the package. Seems to me that the wiser path going forward would be to rotate the Games between cities that already have most, if not all, of the mission-critical facilities in place. Los Angeles is one; Barcelona is another, as well as Athens, Tokyo, Melbourne, et al. Yes, it's an exclusionary policy, but it certainly makes more sense than entrusting the operation to a gang of grifters and kleptocrats.

---Baron V

Thursday Night Music Blogging

Because man's best friend deserves better than this.

---Baron V

The World's Worst City With The Most Worst Persons

The shining city on a hill.

Okay, so Pooty-Poot's a cynic and an opportunist, but he's also correct. For decades we have been buying our own rap about being The Greatest Nation For All Time Ever®, and it has made us a menace to everyone else on the planet---and lately, a menace to ourselves. This self-indulgence has gotten exponentially worse over the last 12 years because we can scarcely go anywhere anymore without being reminded during the seventh-inning stretch that God indeed blesses America, so we get to relive those traumatic days after the Twin Towers fell on an everyday basis, not just one day a year. This has ensured us ample time to reflect on the many ways Americans came together in the face of tragedy: Rudy's fatherly benevolence, Dubya's steadfastness with the bullhorn, and thousands of relief workers ingesting tons of carcinogens that the city later claimed didn't exist. But either way, we needed to have this debate on Our Role in the World long before September 11, and we still need to have it now.

---Baron V

Killjoys

They're trying to deprive us of our war before we've had the chance to start it.

I don't suppose there was any reason why the 11-dimensional Jedi masters in the State Department couldn't have floated a proposal like this on their own, oh I dunno, any time they wanted to? On the other hand, perhaps this is the outcome of some deal the administration cut with the Russkies over the weekend to avoid looking like idiots. Not that that could ever happen.

---Baron V

Sunday Night Music Blogging

Because yeah, I know, it was a slow day in the devil's workshop and this blog sucks, so, light posting today because sometimes I like to take a day off every now and then and read a book or something. On the other hand, everything here is absolutely free to you, dear readers, and I spare no expense to embed all these classy videos that our leaders will probably throw all of us in jail for pirating once they've blown up half the world looking for the next Al Qaida #2. So enjoy 'em while you can.

---Baron V

Serious Persons

We use the term loosely to define the conventional wisdom-peddlers amongst our Washington political and media elites, and it's true that they share many commonly held beliefs. One, universally held, is that the poor, sick and elderly need to be punished for their laziness and sloth. Second, there is no problem in the world that a robot, a computer, or a telemarketing guy in Jaipur can't solve, so we all need to learn to live on subsistence wages because the world is so doggone hyper-connected. Also too, that partisan gridlock is crippling America, with both sides equally polarized, which is why the President needs to give the Republicans in Congress anything they want. But most of all, they cherish the idea of using America's money and military to boss other people around in the name of improving foreign relations. Because nothing says "diplomacy" like making generous entreaties to foreign leaders, then threatening to beat them up if they don't accept them on our terms.

---Baron V

Today's Worst Persons

The International Olympic persons.

Hard to say if there has ever been a more bigoted and reactionary sanctioning body in all of organized sports than this group, and that's saying something. Yes, they've got a multi-billion dollar investment that they feel needs protecting, but at the very least, you'd think they could offer up a statement expressing their wishes that all of the athletes be treated with a degree of respect while they are competing at the Games, and not just scolding the gays for being such little drama queens and getting all bitchy with Pooty-Poot for threatening to send them to the gulag if they act up and start being gaylike. It is almost enough to make one hope that at least a couple of them sneak some rainbow-colored attire into the Olympic Village. Can't say I expect to see it, but it would be awesome to watch!

---Baron V

Light Blogging Day

Because your humble blogger has family crap to attend to in Goldwater Country this afternoon, and won't be home until late. In the meantime, because it's Sunday.

---Baron V

The Jokes Write Themselves

Too bad that none of them are funny:

The United States has made a formal promise to Russia not to execute or torture Edward Snowden if he is sent home to face charges of illegally disclosing government secrets, and the Kremlin said Russian and U.S. security agencies are in talks over his fate.

I think I'd feel a bit less snarky if we'd also promised that he wouldn't be subjected to indefinite detention or solitary confinement, and given a fair jury trial in a civilian court where the defense will have ready access to all the government's evidence. But you know that won't happen, any more than it is happening to Bradley Manning right now. Personally, I think the Russians would be crazy to turn him over to the Americans---if they want to avoid being the next Wikileaks target, that is.

---Baron V